


30 Minutes or Less

by StrongerThanAnySword



Category: Strange Magic (2015)
Genre: (it probably will), (spoiler alert), F/M, Human AU, I thought it should be the other way around, Multi, So here we are, So i blame this entirely on that screenshot, and i needed something to bring me joy, and then it was too good this way, anyway here's wonderwall, anyway i'm having a crap day, god i hope this doesn't become another series, i mean pizza delivery au, if not there's a link in the summary, initially, okay, so here, you know the one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-09-30 18:39:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10169339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrongerThanAnySword/pseuds/StrongerThanAnySword
Summary: It's been a crap year and Briar really isn't here for it.  That probably doesn't excuse the fact that he just...flirted?...with the automated system?  Maybe that's not the right word for it.  Well, whatever it was, it was definitely sexual and NOT something he would have said if he'd known the "automated" system was a real person.Also,In which Bog's name is Briar for the sake of "accuracy"I blame tumblr and the post this link will lead you to.  http://comesitbymyfire.tumblr.com/post/158130094218/thehockeyhaus-onyourleftbooob-which-one-of#notesInitially, I thought it should be the other way around, and then it was too good this way, so here we are.  :)





	

Briar flinched and sighed when his phone buzzed on his bedside table, cutting the gentle piano tune off with the harsh chime of a message coming in.  Shooting the phone a dirty look for causing him to flinch and drop the tiny screw onto the floor, he set the clarinet down on his desk--gently--before bending to give the floor a quick pat, grumbling.  Thankfully, it hadn't rolled far, and he settled it in a small ceramic bowl sitting off to the side for holding such bits and bobs.  Twirling his screwdriver around his fingers, he stood and crossed to his bed, falling forward onto his stomach to reach for the phone.  A text.

 _Probably mother,_ he thought, feeling grouchy, headache pounding behind his temples.   _Again._  His free hand snagged his phone and dragged it onto the faded quilt he rested on, swiping through his code.  He sighed and opened it reflexively, wondering what it was she wanted now, releasing the screwdriver to massage his temple.

_[10:45 AM]: Brian, your next automated pizza delivery is scheduled for SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 25 at 12:00pm.  To confirm txt YES.  To decline txt NO.  Txt Help 4help._

Automated pizza delivery?  Briar groaned and closed his eyes.  It rung a bell, for certain, but he couldn't remember wh-.   _OH._

Vague memories were filtering back.  Valentine's Day, after work, drinking the night away with Stuff and Thang (nicknames they hadn't grown out of, but rather Thang had  _updated_ from "Thing" to "Thang" sometime and refused to answer to the prior nickname), glaring at the happy couples all around them.  He'd seen a...flier?  A handout of some kind?  The rest was a half-lit blur, but he had enough information, and looked down at the dimmed screen, contemplating.

Well, he'd clearly went through a lot of trouble to make sure he would have pizza, even if he hadn't gotten his own name correct.

_Why the hell not._

**[10:46 AM]: Thank u Papa John u handsome man. I shall call u the Carbs Vixen.**

 Briar chuckled aloud, feeling happily amused.  A smile quirked his lips up.  It had been a while since he'd smiled last.

His phone buzzed.

_[10:48 AM]:  We're sorry, we didn't understand.  Please confirm or decline._

Briar barked out a laugh, typing back as quickly as possible; when he saw what autocorrect had done to it, though, he choked, laughing from the tips of his toes and burying his face in his arm as he hit 'send'.

**[10:48 AM]: When I make love I imagine you tossing some dough shirtless.**

That was too good, really.  And sure, he'd type a 'yes' eventually, but for now this was just _too much fun._  

Another buzz.  Briar eagerly swiped through to read it, practically giggling.

_[10:50 AM]:  Dude, our automated system isn't set up yet.  This is a real person texting you.  I make minimum wage, please just tell me if you want the pizza._

Briar felt his breath shorten and his heart start mountaineering up the inside of his throat, eyes widening.

_"Oh my God."_

* * *

The bell rang and Briar rushed to let the delivery person in, face warming slightly in a blush.  Hopefully it was someone who didn't know, he prayed fervently, unlocking the door and swinging it open, hopefully-

A short girl in denim overalls, a white tee, and a bright red baseball cap settled over a pixie cut blinked and looked up at him, surprised at his height.  One hand on her hip and the other holding the pizza aloft on the tips of her fingers, her stunning purple eyeshadow framing light brown eyes glittering in a combination of laughter and malice, one eyebrow cocked almost to her hairline.

Oh, she  _knew._

"H-hi, erm, hello," Briar tried, coughing when his voice broke, feeling as if he'd just been punched in the gut.  He couldn't look away from her eyes and he felt she could probably feel the heat radiating off her face from where he stood.

She raised her other eyebrow.

"I," Briar tried again, suddenly digging in his pockets for money, words coming hard and fast, "am  _so_ sorry, I had no idea it was, I didn't think that it was a person, I thought-"

"That much was pretty clear."  Her voice sounded like a sheathed sword might look; blunted, promising velvet safety, yet hiding sharp, cold steel.  Her lips quirked up slightly.  "I'm just glad it was me on the phone and not my sister."

The way she said it made Briar glad, too.

He offered her the bills and she took them, Briar avoiding the tips of her fingers as he accepted the pizza.

"This is too much," she said with a frown and a crease between her brows, looking up, "I-"

"Consider it an apology," Briar mumbled, ducking his head yet peeking up from under his brow, hugging the cardboard box close to him like he was defending against a knife-wielding murderer.  

"Oh."  That seemed to surprise her, catch her off guard.  Her brown eyes were wide, letting more light in, and they looked like sun-dappled topaz.  "Well...thank you."  Briar shook his head.

"Thank  _you_."  He cleared his throat again and nodded, eyes landing on her nametag.  "Marianne."

Marianne's smirk returned.  "No problem, Brian."

"It's Briar," he said automatically.  That made her eyebrows raise again.  "Hippie mother," he offered.  She nodded, smirk still there but something kind laughing in her eyes.

"Okay, well...see you around, then, Briar," she said, pocketing the money and straightening her cap.  "Try not to flirt with the autotext next time, hm?"  She gave a little wave and turned around, sauntering back to the running car parked in the street.

Cheeks still pink, Briar stood there a little longer than he should have, watching her until she got into the car and put it into drive, before remembering himself and slipping back inside.

 _No promises,_ he caught himself thinking as he righted the pizza box and opened it to inspect the damage it had incurred from being carried like a football.   _No promises._

 


End file.
